Jay and I have been through a lot in the past five years. We have both caused one another a lot of pain and hurt but at the end of the day we still love one another; even though things may never work out between us. We both have decided to go our separate ways and I feel that is what's best maybe one day we can rekindle some form of a friendship. Nobody will ever understand our connection like we do but sometimes what we want isn't always what's best for us. Even though this man can give me mixed singles such as saying "I still love you so much. I miss you and think about you. I want to marry you" (but two weeks later you tell me you are supposedly going to marry another woman doesn't make sense to me but whatever) I know I can not go back down that road.
We share so many good times! I remember when we would say up for hours just talking about everything. We would sometimes talk until the sun came up. We would take drives and just listen to some good music. We would go to our spot at Greenwood Lake and just talk and enjoy the beautiful scenery. We would look at houses together and saw a future with one another but at this moment we need time apart. I need to focus on myself and be the best woman I can be and he needs to focus on himself and his career. Jay and I have known one another for over 10 years since we were kids. We have been there for one another through everything. I have been there through the difficult times he was going through with his family and he has been there for me after we had a miscarriage (making up for not being there when I was actually going through the miscarriage). I felt as if I could be my crazy silly self around him and I loved it! We would sometimes laugh so hard at each other we couldn't breath (mostly him laughing at me and my silly ways).
There has been a lot of damage done so I don't know if we would ever get back to a good place but I pray that one day we could look back on all of this and realize how silly and immature we were acting. I pray for him and his happy and that he is protect from all evil that may come his way.
Only time will tell how this story ends...........
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