It all started when I was in the 8th grade. I had this crush on this boy named Jay. When i was around him I would get butterflies in my stomach (even though this may seem cliche its true) and not know what to say...I had the biggest crush on this boy. We started to talk and flirt a little while in school. Then came our 8th grade prom....to make a long story short he was my first kiss. The one thing I'll remember about him besides his temper is those soft lips that I can kiss all night! I remember during school when we had recess we would go hide under one of the staircases by the exit and just talk ...well to be honest mainly make-out the whole time! Those were the days!.... Once we graduated form elementary school we still kept in touch but after a few months we lost contact of one another.
Four years later......... I was a Freshmen in college and currently in a relationship with Boy #1: Big Poppa. However every now and then ever since we lost contact I would think about him from time to time. One day I was in New York with my then boyfriend when I got an Facebook notification saying I had a message from JC! I was in complete shock for I haven't heard from him in years and the crazy thing is at that exact moment I was thinking about him. We talked through Facebook every now and then but nothing more because I was in a relationship and in love with the man I was with. When me and my EX broke up I started to talk to him a little more but just as friends nothing more. In fall 2011 I studied abroad in England for a few months and ABSOLUTELY loved it!! When I came back in December I decided to shoot him a text since I haven't spoken to him since I left and things just went on from there. We started to talk more and more and be on the phone for hours!
One day while we was on the phone he asked me if i was home (previously I told him where I lived at that moment). I told him I was home so he decided to surprise me and come over after he left church. I hurried up and put on some clothes, did my hair and them went out to go see him. I was so nervous and anxious! For I haven't seen this man since the 8th grade. He looked the same as he did when we were young. We talked about stuff and hang out for sometime. We later said our goodbyes and gave each other a hug as I pulled away he kissed me!! Well after that things just continued to grow from there. With him I felt like that little girl again who had this crush on this boy in the 8th grade. Things were going great for sometime but once sex got involved things later took a turn for the worse.
A few months into things we began to argue more and more over dumb stuff not that I look back. Well during one of our many arguments I blurred out that I was a week late and then hung up the phone! ( a piece of advice That's not at all a good way to tell a man you might be pregnant at all! I was caught up in my feelings! lol) That did not go well with him at all! He showed up at my house and went to get a pregnancy test. When we got back home I went to the bathroom and peeped on the stick.......IT'S NEGATIVE!! Praise GOD!...a few days later my "six little friends came to town" (if you know what I mean). Things got a little better but that didn't last for long. I really cant remember what we arguing about but the whole convo just grew into this biggest argument we have had. To make a long story short the CRAZY WOMAN came out! We decided to have some time apart since it became to get very toxic between us.
About eight months later.......On my birthday I shockingly received a phone call from JC, I was about to not pick up because for a minute I did not recognize the number but when I picked up I realized it was him. I was truly shocked, that he would even call after what happened between us months ago but we talked for a little bit and things were cool. We kept in touch after that and talked every once in awhile; about a month later we started to talk more and more. He started to come and visit me up at college and things were actually surprisingly going very well. We did not have one argument for months but then sooner or later things started to go down hill. One day while we were on the phone I told him that I was a little nervous about a certain situation occurring.......we were arguing about something dumb and I just said "be careful about what you say because you never know we might be in each others' lives for a longtime"....i should of used different word when dealing with him but there was no turning back. He wanted to know what I meant by that so I told him but in no way did I say I was with child. I was just nervous and wanted some reassurance that everything was going to be okay but he does not take stress well and in his mind I basically said I was pregnant. It was just a downhill spiral; he wanted me to take the Plan B but I really did not want to take for moral reasons but he insisted and kept on pushing the issue. He had me on the phone till we hours in the morning I was so tired just to get him off the phone I just agreed Ill take it , knowing I really wasn't going to take it. That morning he came up to my school surprised me, I could not believe it. I thought he was coming so we go to the pharmacy so I knew before we did that I needed to talk to him and put my foot down but to my surprise he had already brought the pill!! I was like WTF! We went back and forth and he finally got the hint.
Then I guess thats where his crazy Puerto Rican side came out; while I was in the car he pulled off WTF! He wanted to go tell his mother and father about what was going on (why I have no idea because i feel all of that would be unnecessary because in my eyes there was nothing to worry about, not yet at least at that moment) but I have no idea way he needed me to come with I mean the negro could of at least asked! The only one that made any sense to me was his father which was shocking to me cause I didn't think I was going to like him very much but he is a smart man and made plenty of sense. Well I made may way back to school after a stressful and crazy day! Once it came out that everything would be okay (Not pregnant!) we kept our distance because that what was best.
Things are now civil between us which is good. But I realized that it really just WON'T EVER work and I am content with that. I want him to be successful and do everything he has ever dreamed of doing. I would be there to support him and cheer him on no matter what. I could not wish bad on him for what good would that bring to my life....nothing. For some odd reason I can't just turn my back on him; I have know him for too long to just say F' you and never talk to him again, even though some would say thats the perfect thing to do. I would just want for us to civil and JUST be friends!!
Four years later......... I was a Freshmen in college and currently in a relationship with Boy #1: Big Poppa. However every now and then ever since we lost contact I would think about him from time to time. One day I was in New York with my then boyfriend when I got an Facebook notification saying I had a message from JC! I was in complete shock for I haven't heard from him in years and the crazy thing is at that exact moment I was thinking about him. We talked through Facebook every now and then but nothing more because I was in a relationship and in love with the man I was with. When me and my EX broke up I started to talk to him a little more but just as friends nothing more. In fall 2011 I studied abroad in England for a few months and ABSOLUTELY loved it!! When I came back in December I decided to shoot him a text since I haven't spoken to him since I left and things just went on from there. We started to talk more and more and be on the phone for hours!
One day while we was on the phone he asked me if i was home (previously I told him where I lived at that moment). I told him I was home so he decided to surprise me and come over after he left church. I hurried up and put on some clothes, did my hair and them went out to go see him. I was so nervous and anxious! For I haven't seen this man since the 8th grade. He looked the same as he did when we were young. We talked about stuff and hang out for sometime. We later said our goodbyes and gave each other a hug as I pulled away he kissed me!! Well after that things just continued to grow from there. With him I felt like that little girl again who had this crush on this boy in the 8th grade. Things were going great for sometime but once sex got involved things later took a turn for the worse.
A few months into things we began to argue more and more over dumb stuff not that I look back. Well during one of our many arguments I blurred out that I was a week late and then hung up the phone! ( a piece of advice That's not at all a good way to tell a man you might be pregnant at all! I was caught up in my feelings! lol) That did not go well with him at all! He showed up at my house and went to get a pregnancy test. When we got back home I went to the bathroom and peeped on the stick.......IT'S NEGATIVE!! Praise GOD!...a few days later my "six little friends came to town" (if you know what I mean). Things got a little better but that didn't last for long. I really cant remember what we arguing about but the whole convo just grew into this biggest argument we have had. To make a long story short the CRAZY WOMAN came out! We decided to have some time apart since it became to get very toxic between us.
About eight months later.......On my birthday I shockingly received a phone call from JC, I was about to not pick up because for a minute I did not recognize the number but when I picked up I realized it was him. I was truly shocked, that he would even call after what happened between us months ago but we talked for a little bit and things were cool. We kept in touch after that and talked every once in awhile; about a month later we started to talk more and more. He started to come and visit me up at college and things were actually surprisingly going very well. We did not have one argument for months but then sooner or later things started to go down hill. One day while we were on the phone I told him that I was a little nervous about a certain situation occurring.......we were arguing about something dumb and I just said "be careful about what you say because you never know we might be in each others' lives for a longtime"....i should of used different word when dealing with him but there was no turning back. He wanted to know what I meant by that so I told him but in no way did I say I was with child. I was just nervous and wanted some reassurance that everything was going to be okay but he does not take stress well and in his mind I basically said I was pregnant. It was just a downhill spiral; he wanted me to take the Plan B but I really did not want to take for moral reasons but he insisted and kept on pushing the issue. He had me on the phone till we hours in the morning I was so tired just to get him off the phone I just agreed Ill take it , knowing I really wasn't going to take it. That morning he came up to my school surprised me, I could not believe it. I thought he was coming so we go to the pharmacy so I knew before we did that I needed to talk to him and put my foot down but to my surprise he had already brought the pill!! I was like WTF! We went back and forth and he finally got the hint.
Then I guess thats where his crazy Puerto Rican side came out; while I was in the car he pulled off WTF! He wanted to go tell his mother and father about what was going on (why I have no idea because i feel all of that would be unnecessary because in my eyes there was nothing to worry about, not yet at least at that moment) but I have no idea way he needed me to come with I mean the negro could of at least asked! The only one that made any sense to me was his father which was shocking to me cause I didn't think I was going to like him very much but he is a smart man and made plenty of sense. Well I made may way back to school after a stressful and crazy day! Once it came out that everything would be okay (Not pregnant!) we kept our distance because that what was best.
Things are now civil between us which is good. But I realized that it really just WON'T EVER work and I am content with that. I want him to be successful and do everything he has ever dreamed of doing. I would be there to support him and cheer him on no matter what. I could not wish bad on him for what good would that bring to my life....nothing. For some odd reason I can't just turn my back on him; I have know him for too long to just say F' you and never talk to him again, even though some would say thats the perfect thing to do. I would just want for us to civil and JUST be friends!!
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